I can’t feel your presence anymore. You’re starting to fade away from me. But when I shut my eyes…there you are.
My girlfriend vanished without a trace. As expected, the cops looked at me. There was no proof, no evidence, no reason for me to be thought of as the reason she left. Her family also thought I was the reason for her going missing. But I would never harm her…my Jessica. She was everything to me. Beautiful, smart, athletic, but had a soft side to her. She enjoyed reading, mostly romance and mystery, but she also loved hanging out and just playing video games, renting a cheesy horror flick and eating pizza…my best friend. And one morning when I awoke? She was gone, without a trace. All her things were gone, pictures…like she never existed. But I know she did, her family, the police…I didn’t imagine the entire relationship…the year of my life I dedicated to her. I knew from the moment I met her, she was going to be mine forever.
In my head, it’s still not over. I could feel her…her presence. She’s still there…but fading away. I see her now, every time I shut my eyes…there she is. In my dream world, Jess is as perfect as ever…dark hair caressing her face due to the breeze, her hand brushing it away, smiling at me as we hold hands and walk through the park together…and then she’s gone. Every night I go to sleep, my heart is healed. Every time I awake, my heart breaks. And I can feel it…the memory of her is fading away.
It’s a good thing I kept some keepsakes…the lock of hair, the eye…the beautiful, blue color of her eye. I couldn’t just get rid of it, I needed to remember what it looked like. It’s a good thing I don’t keep any of these things here, or else the cops and her Mom would know that I kept these things. They’ll never find her…I just wish these dreams would go the fuck away.
I know…I know how to get rid of them. Yeah, I’ll just…find another one…like the many before. Tonight…I’ll sleep soundly…without dreams…
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