Surprise bitch, bet you thought you’d seen the last of me…
For those of us waiting for the witches to show up, episode 3 “The Forbidden Fruit” certainly delivered. Right off the back we learn that Dinah seems to have some secret witchy powers and so does Mallory. Langdon knew about Dinah but had no clue Mallory was of the witchy type until she almost sets the whole room on fire. We also see Langdon’s demon face and learn for sure that his father is Satan. In case we hadn’t figured that out yet.
Ms. Mead is sharing her favorite memories of Halloween because even in the apocalypse, everyone knows it’s the most important holiday to celebrate. In 1962 our lovable robot dressed up as another lovable robot, Judy from The Jetsons.
Ms. Mead sees her first horror movie; Rosemary’s Baby.
Ms. Mead is now a secret agent who has been tasked to kill a home grown terrorist living in a friendly suburb. After a very Kill Bill situation, the terrorist is dead and Ms. Mead answers the door to some trick-or-treaters covered in his blood.
But of course, these are not real memories are they? Ms. Mead is a robot. Who knows for sure. But what we do learn is she is indeed a robot who has been tasked with protecting The Outpost and in turn Ms. Venable. The two of them come up with an idea to kill everyone and Langdon and then go find The Sanctuary on their own.
Cut to the nuclear winter still going on outside. We get a brief glimpse of some survivors killing each other over cigarettes (me, in an apocalypse) and living on the beach. But surprise! Brock shows up. That’s right, Billy Eichner’s character from episode 1. Coco’s boyfriend. He’s survived! He’s covered in sores, losing his hair, and carrying a giant role of duct tape but he’s alive. He’s trying to find Coco and when he sees a Victorian coach drive by, he follows it in the hopes of finding her.
The coach arrives to The Outpost and inside is a case filled with perfect, red, fresh apples. With no signs of nuclear infection. Ms. Venable and Ms. Mead decide to poison the apples and use it as a easy and quick way to kill everyone. So they throw a Halloween party!
Everyone is super excited and gets dressed up in their best Halloween masks. Unbeknownst to them, Brock has snuck in with the carriage and is among the masked individuals. He pulls Coco away and instead of a loving embrace, he lovingly stabs her in the forehead and kills her.
At the party, everyone bobs for apples, eats them, and dies messily. Like super messy. Vomiting everywhere, foaming at the mouth, while Ms. Venable and Ms. Mead stand above them watching over them.
With their plan finally completed, the pair go and confront Langdon. Ms. Mead pulls out her favorite thing in the world, her gun, and goes to shoot Langdon. But suddenly her arm is pulled to the right and shoots Ms. Venable instead. She dies, bleeding out on the ground.
That’s when we learn that Langdon had programmed Ms. Mead himself. The poison apple idea? That was his that he implanted into Ms. Mead to suggest. And then Langdon gets all weepy and tells Ms. Mead that he made her into his Grandmother, Constance and filled her with Constance’s memories. Or something. I have no idea where this plot is going.
And when we think all is lost, and every character is dead, three perfect and beautiful witches come sweeping in through the nuclear fog.
That’s right – Cordelia (Sarah Paulson), Madison (Emma Roberts), and Myrtle (Frances Conroy) are back! And seemingly fine from the nuclear explosion because of their witchy powers. They come storming into The Outpost and breathe life back into their sisters: Dinah, Coco, and Mallory. Also I’m pretty sure that spell that Cordelia did to bring them back to life is the same meditation exercise my therapist tried to teach me.
And that’s that.
Can you believe we’re three episodes in and all the male characters except Langdon are dead? I love you Ryan Murphy.
Are there any more of the witches alive? How did they survive? Is The Sanctuary just an awesome placed filled with powerful witches? Is Langdon gonna lose his shit over all of this?
We’ll find out next week!