Well, Ms. Mead didn’t get to shoot anyone this episode, but she did get to chop up some snakes…oh…and she MIGHT BE A FUCKING ROBOT?!
Let’s dive right in to American Horror Story Apocalypse Episode 2, The Morning After.
The premier left us with a lot of unanswered questions and the arrival of Michael Langdon. This episode opens with Emily finding a crap tone of live uninfected snakes in her closet. Ms. Mead has a field day and chops them all up and feeds them to everyone for dinner. But when the dinner guests attempt to dig in to their snake soup, the snakes are suddenly alive again and slithering across the table.
Cut to everyone’s favorite Anti-Christ, Langdon, who introduces himself to everyone. He’s the representative for The Cooperative. There are three other outposts in the states, all of which have been destroyed, and there are six international outposts which have also gone silent.
The Cooperative planned for this and so they have the ultimate outpost called The Sanctuary. Langdon lets everyone know he’s there to pick his favs to bring to The Sanctuary. And everyone else who gets left behind can be eaten by nuclear cannibals, or take some suicide pills which Langdon kindly leaves with them. He’s very fair.
Langdon remains my favorite character. When Ms. Venable questions him, he simply holds up his hand and responds with, “classified.” So I’m gonna take note of that and implement in my every day life. “Where’s that report you promised me by 4?” “Classified.” “Want to go get coffee after work?” “Classified.” “Is your anxiety destroying you from the inside?” “Classified, mother fuckers.”
Anyway, Langdon chooses Mr. Gallant as his first interviewee and his first question is “what’s your sexual orientation?” and the second being “what makes you angry?”. And honestly, his interviewing skills are kind of on point.
Mr. Gallant opens up about his grandmother Evie and how she’s always trying to control him. And he has a thing for leather.
That night Rubber Man, from season one Murder House, shows up in Mr. Gallants room and the two have some special quiet time together. But Evie spies on them and promptly runs to Ms. Mead to tattle. She’s determined to get a spot at The Sanctuary, even if it means her own Grandson is left behind.
Meanwhile Emily and Timothy who are our YA boring romance have sneaked into Langdon’s room to find a working laptop that is sending and receiving emails. And instead of checking their twitter, they snoop through Langdon’s emails between him and The Cooperative. They learn that all of Ms. Venable’s rules, including the no sex rule, are actually against The Cooperative’s rules.
Ms. Venable and Ms. Mead tie up Mr. Gallant to punish him for breaking the no sex rule. After they leave, Langdon strolls in and teases Mr. Gallant. Gallant thinks that it was Langdon in the Rubber Man suit but Langdon denies it and is cruel to him.
Emily and Timothy who have now realized they can have sex, have forgotten all their grandiose plans of escaping and saving the world, and have sex instead. Unfortunately for them, Ms. Venable and Ms. Mead find them and drag them into one of what seems to be a lot of empty rooms made for torture.
Timothy fights back and pushes the gun that was about to shoot him in the head, the bullet strikes Ms. Mead. And umm…how do I explain this….SHE MIGHT BE A ROBOT. We see her clutching her body and when she pulls away her hand there’s some circuits and wires and weird white goo.
Meanwhile Mr. Gallant sees Rubber Man again and follows him into a room. Hurt by what Langdon said, he still believes its Langdon in the suit. Luckily there was a perfectly placed pair of scissors right next to the bed (????) and he uses them to stab Rubber Man. But then he hears something and whips around to see Langdon looming in the doorway. When Gallant looks back down he realizes he’s actually just stabbed his Grandmother, Evie.
And that’s that.
Fucking hell. WHAT IS GOING ON.
I have no theories at all except that there seems to be a lot of witchcraft floating around, a lot of magic. Langdon remains perfect. Ms. Venable has some sort of back injury that looks very painful and is most likely scoliosis, also she’s getting super paranoid.
Next week it’s Halloween and the previews make it look like there may finally be witches on the horizon. GUYS, WHAT IF THE COVEN IS THE COOPERATIVE?!?!