Episode Five - Boy Wonder just ramped things up to a million. Let’s dive right into our recap!
We start with Cordelia waking up in the ruins of the academy screaming for her friends. But all that answers are mutant zombies that begin to rip her to pieces. She realizes her magic no longer works, and as she dies she looks up into the demon form of Langdon.
Then she actually wakes up and we’re right back where we left off last week. Madison and Queenie are alive and well. Cordelia shares with the group and the warlocks that she had a vision of the future. She doesn’t mention Langdon but speaks of the nuclear winter and says that she will allow Langdon to take the test of the seven wonders. Langdon will be the first male to ever take these tests, and if he succeeds, he will be the first ever male supreme.
Myrtle is not thrilled with this decision and goes on an amazing feminist rampage ending with “men make terrible leaders”. And honestly, I want that played at my funeral. Myrtle wants Cordelia to wait as she believes Mallory could be the next supreme. Mallory is incredibly powerful and only just getting started. Cordelia admits she is fading and her magic is leaving her. She must make her decision fast.
We also see the arrival of Coco, a young witch with limited powers. In fact, her only power so far is that she can detect gluten. So she spends her time with rich Beverly Hills women detecting gluten in their food. Absolutely amazing. I wish I had this power, I could make MILLIONS!
Langdon gets blessed by all the Warlocks as John Henry sneaks off. He doesn’t trust Langdon and believes he saw the white demon face within Langdons. But he doesn’t get far….our favorite murdering robot/lady Ms Mead shows up while he’s pumping gas and murders him. She has no chill - she slices his ankles, slices his throat, and then sets him on fire.
She leaves and visits Langdon at school and we learn that she’s working alongside Ariel, The Chancellor, to ensure Langdon goes to power.
It’s then time for Langdon to take the tests:
Langdon passes all of them. When it comes to the seventh, Descensum, Cordelia asks him to rescue our favorite hippie witch - Misty Day. He accepts and descend into hell.
Misty Day’s personal hell is being stuck in a high school science class where she is forced to dissect a living frog over and over. But Langdon arrives and dissects the science teacher instead, bringing Misty back to life.
And with that, Langdon has passed the seven tests and Cordelia admits he’s the next supreme. When she’s left alone with her witches though she admits that she has no intentions of allowing Langdon to take over. She allowed him to do the tests so she could see how powerful he really was, and to use him to bring all her friends back to life. Misty shares that she saw him talking with the demons in her hell. Cordelia knows that he will bring about the end of times. But now she has her full coven back to fight.
Then Stevie Nicks shows up, the white witch we all know and love. She performs a song, because this is still American Horror Story after all.
While the white witch performs, Cordelia and Madison sneak off. Cordelia asks Madison to go off and investigate where Langdon came from. Chablis (one of the warlocks) intervenes and says he has doubts about Langdon as well. He wants to go with.
And where are they going? TO THE FUCKING MURDER HOUSE!
That’s right guys, we’re finally coming full circle. Next week they head to murder house and you know who’s still there? JESSICA FUCKING LANGE!
I will be in heaven.
I loved this episode, I love where this is going, and I feel like for once AHS is actually on track and not trailing a bunch of loose ends and weird story lines.